One Year Later

 

Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

- Psalm 62:8

This post is probably the longest one I've ever written, but it will also be our last post on the blog, so grab a coffee and take a seat as this may take you a few minutes to read :)

August 31, 2012 - one year ago today, the Lord entrusted unto us the gift of a precious son, for whom we will remain forever grateful. Shortly after Logan was born the complications began & we found ourselves at MacMaster Children's Hospital in confusion as to why our baby, who looked so perfect & healthy when they placed him in my arms, could now be wilting away on us with no explanations. With many uncertainties at the time, we then found ourselves clinging to the Lord, entrusting our dear sons life into the Hands of our loving Father, knowing that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him!

 

Its hard to believe that almost a year ago everything started with Logan, a year that seemed to go so slow, yet so fast all at the same time. Alot can happen in a year, especially this past year for us. There were times of uncertainty, let downs, frustrations, many sleepless nights, and definitely times of weakness when I was tired & didn't think I could do it anymore, and when I'd finally reach my lowest point the Lord would surround me in His loving arms & carry me on. People always said they admired our strength, but the truth is we would not have had the strength to carry on if it hadn't been for God in His mercy giving us that strength..."I can do all things through HIM who gives me STRENGTH. - Philippians 4:13. We know that our children are in the Hands of our Lord & his plans for us are always good even in the midst of uncertainty. We always felt Him so present with us, and we've learned that no matter what hardships may come our way in life there is a Great God who is truly able to comfort beyond understanding, and give you strength in ways you never imagined.

 

As hard as it was at times, this year has also brought us alot of joy & blessings! We are so thankful for all of you who have supported us & stood beside us through the joys & the tears. We are so blessed to be part of such a large communion of the saints, where the Lord uses us to do His work - to help eachother & carry eachothers burdens..."Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13. We had the opportunity to make new friends & talk about our faith in Christ with them during our stay at Mac, we had complete strangers read our blog & write to us saying that they've started praying even though they never believed in a God before. God used our situation in these and so many other ways for His glory & to further His Kingdom - how wonderful! We had so many visitors, meals, cards, prayers, gift cards and so much more done for us during those 3 months at Mac & in the days, weeks & months to follow. We were blessed to be able to stay at the Ronald McDonald House, which was a HUGE help for us & words can not explain how thankful we were for this place. If you are looking for a charity to support, PLEASE consider supporting the RMDH! You can find the link here: http://www.rmhhamilton.ca/. Now we have the opportunity to drop food off when we have a little extra to support those who are staying with them from time to time & visit with the wonderful people who work at the RMDH. Most importantly we realized that sometimes God takes us to a place where we have nothing to rely on but faith, in order for us to truly see His glory and just what an awesome God He is!

 

Logan has come a long way since then, and much to all the doctors surprise it has not held him back developmentally - if anything he's excelling well in everything. Logan is at the 50th percentile on the growth chart now - 20 pounds 2ounces & 29 inches long. He will eat anything you put infront of him & has a healthy, big appetite (we actually have to cut him off at times!). Thankfully since switching Logan over to milk he rarely throws anything up anymore - this is a recent development for probably about a month or so now. We've recently been discharged from McMaster Hospital with no concerns of having to run any allergy tests - Dr. Issenman said that considering how far Logan has come & the fact that he can now eat just about anything there are no big concerns anymore. We are so thankful for this! If you've been following the blog then you'll know that the g-tube is removed and healed wonderfully, Logan eats solely on his own and is doing great! He pulls himself up to everything & crawls faster then you can imagine - probably because he does not like to be left behind by his siblings. And just in the last week he's started to stand up on his own in the middle of a room without holding onto anything - it won't be long before he's walking I imagine. Logan loves to babble and tries to out-do his big sister Olivia, sorry to say though Logan I don't think anyone can out beat her on talking & use of vocabulary!! Logan LOVES to wrestle around with Malachi & Olivia, chasing them around the yard & trying to keep up with them in any way possible. Logan is also pretty laid back most of the time, but when he doesn't like something he lets us (and the neighbours) know! He is a joy to be around & lights up the room with his sparkling blue eyes, big grin & zest for life.  As many of you have heard Logan is also going to be big brother in February 2014, Lord willing. We are very excited to add another little one to our family, and add a little more craziness to our life :) The doctors say that if it is a boy there is a very high percentage that he would have this same hereditary problem as Malachi & Logan did - just hopefully not as severe as Logan's. However, there are no guarantee's & worrying won't change anything, so for now I am trying to enjoy the pregnancy & look forward to meeting this little one in the new year. Thankfully we also have a proper diagnosis & we know how to deal with it - we know that though we may have to be in the hospital again, it will only be a short while and not near as long as what we went through with Logan.

 

As I said before, this is our final blog post entry. I will keep the blog open so that we can look back over the years, but I will no longer be writing on it seeing as Logan is doing so much better. Thank-you to all of you who followed along and continued to keep us in your prayers. We know that things could have been so much worse, but we are thankful that the Lord gave the doctors wisdom & insight to figure out what was going on with Logan's frail body & we were able to do something about it. I've come to realize that even if my children outlive me, my time with them as children is still only temporary. This life & role we have as their parents on this earth are gifts, our precious children are gifts...“Children are a heritage of the Lord.” - Psalm 127:3 - so hug your children tight, and take a moment from the business of life to thank Him for these little ones & for the many blessings we've received by His grace. We feel extremely blessed to have come this far with Logan, and we are thankful that things in life do not just happen by chance, but by the will of our Father in Heaven. God is good, all the time. All praise & thanksgiving be given to Him!

"The Lord is faithful to all His promises, and loving toward all He has made." Psalm 145: 13b

 

* A special thank-you to my aunt Jessica Keizer for taking
these beautiful shots of our family this summer *
 

 

Thankful for ONE year of life!

Praying the Lord blesses you for many more sweet boy.

 

 

Blessings Upon Blessings.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Looking forward to seeing what the Lord has instore

for our family throughout the next year!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Update Since G-tube Removal

Its been a few weeks now since Logan has had the g-tube removed. As most of you know already it went better then we expected. Dr. Bailey along with 3 other really nice nurses kicked us out of the room & said we'd see them in about a minute. Yes, they even kicked Adam out - they said its just not pretty to watch. They weren't kidding, we were hardly sitting again in the waiting room before one of them called us back. We could hear Logan crying from the waiting room, but Dr. Bailey said there was no screaming and it came out quick & clean with little tearing. Logan had big crocodile tears in his eyes and was all cuddled with Dr. Bailey until he saw me, then he wanted no one but his mama. I'm ok with that. :)

Logan was babbling away the whole ride home and you wouldn't even know he had any pain - although it might have helped that we drugged him with Children's Tylenol before they yanked it. The best part though was when we layed him down for a nap at home. Logan was always a tummy sleeper until he had the g-tube put in, then he switched to his back or side because it hurt too much. Well I put him down and right away he rolled back over to his tummy, sucked his finger and went to sleep...he's been sleeping on his tummy ever since. The poor kid probably missed it over the last 5 months, and now maybe that explains why he still wasn't sleeping through the night either.

Since they removed the g-tube everything looks good with no infections. All you see now is a little scar that looks like a second belly button. Nothing has held Logan back - he is doing exceptionally well and is already up to 17lbs! Our growing boy just turned 10 months old on the long weekend, and we are enjoying everyday with him watching him learn & seeing him grow into his own little character. We have the dietician coming next week to weigh him as well as another appointment with Mac. This will give us a good idea of where Logan is at on the growth chart & what they want to do as far as keeping him on the formula or switching to milk/other options considering the puking is not as well as we'd hoped at this point. For some reason he keeps any solid food down, but never any liquid so we're hoping we can figure out what to do about this. Either way we are incredibly grateful that he continues to grow.

Here's a few shots from our trip back to Mac to remove the g-tube. Logan was super happy in the waiting room and we even remembered to take one last shot of his g-tube belly before it was gone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our Brave Boy!



G-tube Removal Date

Well I got in contact with Lida, the g-tube specialist at Mac last week. They are pleased to hear of Logan's amazing progress & are happy to hear that he will no longer be needing the g-tube. She gave us our options for removing the g-tube.

Option 1: Meet with the anaesthesiologist, then come back for pre-op, then come back for the actual surgery to remove the g-tube. We would also be put on a waiting list till possibly the end of August for this. But they would put him out and he wouldn't feel a thing.

Option 2: We make an appointment to come to the clinic. They hold him down and yank it out. No freezing or anaesthetic. They could book this already for this week - no waiting!

I know what your thinking....go with option number 1! The other option sounds incredibly painful and cruel. But here's the thing...making him wait another few months would give him a higher risk of infection. It's also a whole lot of rigamoral to go through to have it taken out, and our biggest reason was that Logan has already had anaesthetic 3 times in the first 9 months of his life, we really didn't want to expose him to that anymore.

The specialist and Dr. Bailey said that having them yank it out for him is actually not uncommon. Alot of parents believe it or not choose this option because its quick and simple. In under a minute they take it out, stitch it up and cover it with gauze and a bandaid. He will most likely be upset, but it won't last long. Logan is also young enough that he most likely won't remember it. As much as they reassured us that they wouldn't be doing this everyday to kids if it was that cruel, I still feel like a horrible mom for making him go through that, especially because I really don't think I could be there with him watching it be done. Thankfully Logan's daddy is alot braver and is planning to hold his hand while he goes through it. I will be in the waiting room with open arms when he comes out crying :)

So this coming Thursday, June 13th at 2:30pm we will be at Mac Children's Hospital for (hopefully) the last time in a long time. We will update you all when its finished. Please pray that all goes well and it will be done before we know it.

Our Big Growing Boy

So its been brought to my attention that its been an entire month since I last updated you all on Logan's condition. There just wasn't a whole lot to update you with, other then the fact that for 5 days straight a couple of weeks ago Logan seemed to have a fever on and off. Even though I liked to believe its just from teething, to make Adam feel much better I took Logan to the emerge in Dunnville anyways just to be reassured it was nothing too serious like an infection from the g-tube. The doctor there told us it was most likely just teething or a bug thats going around so we gave him Tylenol around the clock, cold baths and lots of snuggles. Thankfully this did not set him back. He only gained a small amount that week but he never lost anything. We are now down to having his weight checked every third week now so those appointments have really scaled down. Just recently at his last weigh in we received some wonderful news. Logan is now up to 15lbs 10oz! Our dietitian was quite pleased with Logan's progress as he hasn't lost any weight in almost 2 months now - yay! We also have not been using the g-tube for a month now and Brad is quite confident that Logan will no longer be needing it seeing as he gained really well without it. We continue to give him a bottle (less amounts, more often) in hopes that he'll continue to spit up less as the weeks go by. Logan is also eating any solid foods that he can get his little hands on. He LOVES to eat and we have to cut him off most days. Mashed potatoes, applesauce, avocado, yogurt, cheese, bread, cereal, just to name a few. It's so great to see him enjoy eating and keeping the solid food in. We have high hopes that he'll grow out of this sooner then later just like Malachi did.

 

Although Logan still has a small build, he is quite strong. We are finally starting to see his cheeks fill out as well as some fat around his chicken legs and arms. :) He is still small considering he was born at almost 10lbs, but we are so thankful that given the circumstances & what he's been through that he is where he is today. Logan is also full out crawling on his hands & knees, something he learned quickly to do since he couldn't army crawl on his belly with the g-tube standing in his way. He loves to try to keep up with the kids, following them everywhere and I'm constantly having to remember to close the gate now when I run downstairs. Logan loves the attention he gets from Malachi & Olivia, and he is a BIG flirt, always smiling at anyone he gets to see. But this is no different from any other time - from day one he's always been a smiley, happy boy for which we are so thankful! It is so wonderful to see how far Logan has come and it fill us with great joy to see the wonderful works of the Lord in Logan's life.

 

Brad faxed all his updated info to the clinic at Mac and I left a message this morning there as well. Now we are just waiting for a call back to set up a date to remove the g-tube. As far as we know he will need to be put out again to take it out, but hopefully this will only require day surgery. We will keep you all posted as to when this will be and how things go.

 

Thank-you again for your continued love, care & support. The Lord has blessed us with amazing family, friends & a church family that have been so great to us through this. We feel beyond blessed!

 

Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you. - Psalm 9:10

 

 

I'll leave you with some pictures from the last month or so of life at the Linde's :)

 

 

 

Brothers that share a special bond ♥

 

 

Logan is starting to sit up on his own now.

 

 

Our little family on my 27th birthday. Blessed beyond measure.

 

 

Big brothers are the best eh Logan? The boys love bedtime stories together in M's bed.

 

 

Snuggles with dad one night when Logan had a fever.

 

 

 

Happy Mother's Day mom! I got to spend a lovely day with

these 3 monkey's and my hubby :)

 

Supporting McHappy Day....  proceeds go to Ronald McDonald houses

which is where we lived for almost 3 months while Logan was in Mac!

 

 

Hanging out under the shade of a tree on a hot day.

 

 

Can't believe we come this far...almost 9 months old!

 

 

One with mum.

 

 

A big boy now - pure contement being able to feed himself.

 

 

Play hard, Eat Hard, Sleep Hard.

 

 

 

We can't get enough of our sweet little man.

 

THANKFUL.

Logan was weighed this afternoon, and we have GREAT news! Logan has gained another whole pound since last week, putting him at 14lbs 6oz. YAY!! We are so very thankful for this great accomplishment. We also had a visit with the GI doctors at Mac and found out that Logan is now on the curve on the growth chart. He is doing exceedingly well and is on the right track to catching up in no time. We are also excited to share the news that we've decided to try the next 2 weeks without using the g-tube. Logan will only be bottle fed and eat solid foods and we'll see how is weight gain is after that. Please pray that Logan continues to climb the growth charts and grow strong & healthy.

 

Give thanks to the God of heaven. His love endures forever. - Psalm 136:26

 

 

~ Here are a few recent pictures of Logan at 7.5 months ~

 

Brother's bonding.

 

 

Hanging out on daddy's lap.

 

Starting to sit on his own for a little bit at a time.

 

 

Logan loves the exersaucer & jumper-roo.

 

 

Snuggles in his towel after bath-time.

 

 

Always happy.

 

Hanging out with mom at Mac, waiting for the doctors.

 

 

14lbs, 6oz - Wed, April 24, 2013.

No Big Changes

Another quick update on Logan. The dietitian came to weigh him on Friday and we did not see an excessive weight gain as he's had the last few times. He actually only gained 4 ounces in 2 weeks putting him up to 13lbs 7oz. Our dietitian Brad said that there is no need to panic - after all we can't expect him to gain huge amounts every time. Logan is growing at his own pace quite nicely and as long as he's not plateauing or losing then there is no need to worry. However we are not ready yet to go without the g-tube, Adam and I would like to see him reach a higher weight before playing around with it. We also believe that there are 2 things contributing to him not gaining as much these last 2 weeks...one being that we don't use the g-tube faithfully EVERY night. He can afford to go a night or 2 during the week without it. The other reason being that Logan is VERY active and always moving, he most likely has a high metabolism. Brad agreed to wait 2 more weeks, weigh him again and go from there. As nice as it would be to have the g-tube removed before summer, its not worth pushing Logan and slowing down the weight gain process. We've realized that he still manages to gain more when he continues to use it. We also go for another follow up visit at Mac this coming Thursday with the GI team, so we'll see what they have to see with how far Logan has come since last visit.

 

We continue to thank the Lord for Logans progress. Its hard to believe that just a few short months ago we weren't even sure he'd make it this far and now he's surprising us all the time with the new developments that he has week by week. What a loving & merciful God we serve that he watches over us and carries us close to His heart. The Lord's love for us never ceases to amaze!

 

"Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." - Lamentations 3:22-23

Slow & Steady

Well it seems even though I am only updating the blog every other week that I have positive, uplifting news to write each time! Things are looking up over here with Logan (yay!). He was weighed again on Thursday and he is now a whopping 13lbs 3.5oz. He did go down a little bit on his average of how much he is gaining per day but we aren't worried. This being because he had the flu, AGAIN, which he fought for a week and his little body continued to fight and he did gain some good weight gain. Our dietitian is very hopeful that Logan will continue to go up from here with no more set backs. It seems that between seeing the chiropractor, his little body maturing & the age that he is, he is starting to slowly outgrow the pyloric spasms. This was what we were hoping for so it looks like he's on the right track to getting over this sooner then later.

Brad would like to continue to use the g-tube for the next 2 weeks (until the next weigh in). After that we are going to try one week at a time of only bottle feeding Logan. He will still have the g-tube in but we won't use it and see if he still gains the same amount of weight using the bottle that he does using the g-tube. If that shows good results, we will continue this for the month of April & May. If everything continues to go well we are looking at possibly meeting with the doctors in June to talk about removing the g-tube! Now of coarse this is provided he continues to gain a good amount of weight each week, has no set backs and is stable. As great as it sounds I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high just yet. Unfortunately its becoming more of a pain that he has a g-tube because Logan is very active and no matter how good I pin it to his clothes he manages to play with it and yank on it when I'm not looking. Its only going to get harder to hide from him the older he gets. So the sooner its out the better I'll feel :)

That's all for now, I'll update you all again in 2 weeks time. Thank-you for the prayers & support that you continue to show to us.We feel so incredibly blessed to have so many of you walk this road with us and be a huge part of our lives. May you all have a Blessed Easter weekend with your families as we celebrate the death & resurrection of our faithful Saviour, Jesus Christ. Speaking of which, I thought I'd end this post with a video that a close friend of mine sent to me. "Please take a listen to this beautiful Easter song about the amazing gift God has given to us!"... its by one of my favorite's Keith & Kristyn Getty :)