One Year Later

 

Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

- Psalm 62:8

This post is probably the longest one I've ever written, but it will also be our last post on the blog, so grab a coffee and take a seat as this may take you a few minutes to read :)

August 31, 2012 - one year ago today, the Lord entrusted unto us the gift of a precious son, for whom we will remain forever grateful. Shortly after Logan was born the complications began & we found ourselves at MacMaster Children's Hospital in confusion as to why our baby, who looked so perfect & healthy when they placed him in my arms, could now be wilting away on us with no explanations. With many uncertainties at the time, we then found ourselves clinging to the Lord, entrusting our dear sons life into the Hands of our loving Father, knowing that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him!

 

Its hard to believe that almost a year ago everything started with Logan, a year that seemed to go so slow, yet so fast all at the same time. Alot can happen in a year, especially this past year for us. There were times of uncertainty, let downs, frustrations, many sleepless nights, and definitely times of weakness when I was tired & didn't think I could do it anymore, and when I'd finally reach my lowest point the Lord would surround me in His loving arms & carry me on. People always said they admired our strength, but the truth is we would not have had the strength to carry on if it hadn't been for God in His mercy giving us that strength..."I can do all things through HIM who gives me STRENGTH. - Philippians 4:13. We know that our children are in the Hands of our Lord & his plans for us are always good even in the midst of uncertainty. We always felt Him so present with us, and we've learned that no matter what hardships may come our way in life there is a Great God who is truly able to comfort beyond understanding, and give you strength in ways you never imagined.

 

As hard as it was at times, this year has also brought us alot of joy & blessings! We are so thankful for all of you who have supported us & stood beside us through the joys & the tears. We are so blessed to be part of such a large communion of the saints, where the Lord uses us to do His work - to help eachother & carry eachothers burdens..."Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13. We had the opportunity to make new friends & talk about our faith in Christ with them during our stay at Mac, we had complete strangers read our blog & write to us saying that they've started praying even though they never believed in a God before. God used our situation in these and so many other ways for His glory & to further His Kingdom - how wonderful! We had so many visitors, meals, cards, prayers, gift cards and so much more done for us during those 3 months at Mac & in the days, weeks & months to follow. We were blessed to be able to stay at the Ronald McDonald House, which was a HUGE help for us & words can not explain how thankful we were for this place. If you are looking for a charity to support, PLEASE consider supporting the RMDH! You can find the link here: http://www.rmhhamilton.ca/. Now we have the opportunity to drop food off when we have a little extra to support those who are staying with them from time to time & visit with the wonderful people who work at the RMDH. Most importantly we realized that sometimes God takes us to a place where we have nothing to rely on but faith, in order for us to truly see His glory and just what an awesome God He is!

 

Logan has come a long way since then, and much to all the doctors surprise it has not held him back developmentally - if anything he's excelling well in everything. Logan is at the 50th percentile on the growth chart now - 20 pounds 2ounces & 29 inches long. He will eat anything you put infront of him & has a healthy, big appetite (we actually have to cut him off at times!). Thankfully since switching Logan over to milk he rarely throws anything up anymore - this is a recent development for probably about a month or so now. We've recently been discharged from McMaster Hospital with no concerns of having to run any allergy tests - Dr. Issenman said that considering how far Logan has come & the fact that he can now eat just about anything there are no big concerns anymore. We are so thankful for this! If you've been following the blog then you'll know that the g-tube is removed and healed wonderfully, Logan eats solely on his own and is doing great! He pulls himself up to everything & crawls faster then you can imagine - probably because he does not like to be left behind by his siblings. And just in the last week he's started to stand up on his own in the middle of a room without holding onto anything - it won't be long before he's walking I imagine. Logan loves to babble and tries to out-do his big sister Olivia, sorry to say though Logan I don't think anyone can out beat her on talking & use of vocabulary!! Logan LOVES to wrestle around with Malachi & Olivia, chasing them around the yard & trying to keep up with them in any way possible. Logan is also pretty laid back most of the time, but when he doesn't like something he lets us (and the neighbours) know! He is a joy to be around & lights up the room with his sparkling blue eyes, big grin & zest for life.  As many of you have heard Logan is also going to be big brother in February 2014, Lord willing. We are very excited to add another little one to our family, and add a little more craziness to our life :) The doctors say that if it is a boy there is a very high percentage that he would have this same hereditary problem as Malachi & Logan did - just hopefully not as severe as Logan's. However, there are no guarantee's & worrying won't change anything, so for now I am trying to enjoy the pregnancy & look forward to meeting this little one in the new year. Thankfully we also have a proper diagnosis & we know how to deal with it - we know that though we may have to be in the hospital again, it will only be a short while and not near as long as what we went through with Logan.

 

As I said before, this is our final blog post entry. I will keep the blog open so that we can look back over the years, but I will no longer be writing on it seeing as Logan is doing so much better. Thank-you to all of you who followed along and continued to keep us in your prayers. We know that things could have been so much worse, but we are thankful that the Lord gave the doctors wisdom & insight to figure out what was going on with Logan's frail body & we were able to do something about it. I've come to realize that even if my children outlive me, my time with them as children is still only temporary. This life & role we have as their parents on this earth are gifts, our precious children are gifts...“Children are a heritage of the Lord.” - Psalm 127:3 - so hug your children tight, and take a moment from the business of life to thank Him for these little ones & for the many blessings we've received by His grace. We feel extremely blessed to have come this far with Logan, and we are thankful that things in life do not just happen by chance, but by the will of our Father in Heaven. God is good, all the time. All praise & thanksgiving be given to Him!

"The Lord is faithful to all His promises, and loving toward all He has made." Psalm 145: 13b

 

* A special thank-you to my aunt Jessica Keizer for taking
these beautiful shots of our family this summer *
 

 

Thankful for ONE year of life!

Praying the Lord blesses you for many more sweet boy.

 

 

Blessings Upon Blessings.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Looking forward to seeing what the Lord has instore

for our family throughout the next year!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Update Since G-tube Removal

Its been a few weeks now since Logan has had the g-tube removed. As most of you know already it went better then we expected. Dr. Bailey along with 3 other really nice nurses kicked us out of the room & said we'd see them in about a minute. Yes, they even kicked Adam out - they said its just not pretty to watch. They weren't kidding, we were hardly sitting again in the waiting room before one of them called us back. We could hear Logan crying from the waiting room, but Dr. Bailey said there was no screaming and it came out quick & clean with little tearing. Logan had big crocodile tears in his eyes and was all cuddled with Dr. Bailey until he saw me, then he wanted no one but his mama. I'm ok with that. :)

Logan was babbling away the whole ride home and you wouldn't even know he had any pain - although it might have helped that we drugged him with Children's Tylenol before they yanked it. The best part though was when we layed him down for a nap at home. Logan was always a tummy sleeper until he had the g-tube put in, then he switched to his back or side because it hurt too much. Well I put him down and right away he rolled back over to his tummy, sucked his finger and went to sleep...he's been sleeping on his tummy ever since. The poor kid probably missed it over the last 5 months, and now maybe that explains why he still wasn't sleeping through the night either.

Since they removed the g-tube everything looks good with no infections. All you see now is a little scar that looks like a second belly button. Nothing has held Logan back - he is doing exceptionally well and is already up to 17lbs! Our growing boy just turned 10 months old on the long weekend, and we are enjoying everyday with him watching him learn & seeing him grow into his own little character. We have the dietician coming next week to weigh him as well as another appointment with Mac. This will give us a good idea of where Logan is at on the growth chart & what they want to do as far as keeping him on the formula or switching to milk/other options considering the puking is not as well as we'd hoped at this point. For some reason he keeps any solid food down, but never any liquid so we're hoping we can figure out what to do about this. Either way we are incredibly grateful that he continues to grow.

Here's a few shots from our trip back to Mac to remove the g-tube. Logan was super happy in the waiting room and we even remembered to take one last shot of his g-tube belly before it was gone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our Brave Boy!



G-tube Removal Date

Well I got in contact with Lida, the g-tube specialist at Mac last week. They are pleased to hear of Logan's amazing progress & are happy to hear that he will no longer be needing the g-tube. She gave us our options for removing the g-tube.

Option 1: Meet with the anaesthesiologist, then come back for pre-op, then come back for the actual surgery to remove the g-tube. We would also be put on a waiting list till possibly the end of August for this. But they would put him out and he wouldn't feel a thing.

Option 2: We make an appointment to come to the clinic. They hold him down and yank it out. No freezing or anaesthetic. They could book this already for this week - no waiting!

I know what your thinking....go with option number 1! The other option sounds incredibly painful and cruel. But here's the thing...making him wait another few months would give him a higher risk of infection. It's also a whole lot of rigamoral to go through to have it taken out, and our biggest reason was that Logan has already had anaesthetic 3 times in the first 9 months of his life, we really didn't want to expose him to that anymore.

The specialist and Dr. Bailey said that having them yank it out for him is actually not uncommon. Alot of parents believe it or not choose this option because its quick and simple. In under a minute they take it out, stitch it up and cover it with gauze and a bandaid. He will most likely be upset, but it won't last long. Logan is also young enough that he most likely won't remember it. As much as they reassured us that they wouldn't be doing this everyday to kids if it was that cruel, I still feel like a horrible mom for making him go through that, especially because I really don't think I could be there with him watching it be done. Thankfully Logan's daddy is alot braver and is planning to hold his hand while he goes through it. I will be in the waiting room with open arms when he comes out crying :)

So this coming Thursday, June 13th at 2:30pm we will be at Mac Children's Hospital for (hopefully) the last time in a long time. We will update you all when its finished. Please pray that all goes well and it will be done before we know it.

Our Big Growing Boy

So its been brought to my attention that its been an entire month since I last updated you all on Logan's condition. There just wasn't a whole lot to update you with, other then the fact that for 5 days straight a couple of weeks ago Logan seemed to have a fever on and off. Even though I liked to believe its just from teething, to make Adam feel much better I took Logan to the emerge in Dunnville anyways just to be reassured it was nothing too serious like an infection from the g-tube. The doctor there told us it was most likely just teething or a bug thats going around so we gave him Tylenol around the clock, cold baths and lots of snuggles. Thankfully this did not set him back. He only gained a small amount that week but he never lost anything. We are now down to having his weight checked every third week now so those appointments have really scaled down. Just recently at his last weigh in we received some wonderful news. Logan is now up to 15lbs 10oz! Our dietitian was quite pleased with Logan's progress as he hasn't lost any weight in almost 2 months now - yay! We also have not been using the g-tube for a month now and Brad is quite confident that Logan will no longer be needing it seeing as he gained really well without it. We continue to give him a bottle (less amounts, more often) in hopes that he'll continue to spit up less as the weeks go by. Logan is also eating any solid foods that he can get his little hands on. He LOVES to eat and we have to cut him off most days. Mashed potatoes, applesauce, avocado, yogurt, cheese, bread, cereal, just to name a few. It's so great to see him enjoy eating and keeping the solid food in. We have high hopes that he'll grow out of this sooner then later just like Malachi did.

 

Although Logan still has a small build, he is quite strong. We are finally starting to see his cheeks fill out as well as some fat around his chicken legs and arms. :) He is still small considering he was born at almost 10lbs, but we are so thankful that given the circumstances & what he's been through that he is where he is today. Logan is also full out crawling on his hands & knees, something he learned quickly to do since he couldn't army crawl on his belly with the g-tube standing in his way. He loves to try to keep up with the kids, following them everywhere and I'm constantly having to remember to close the gate now when I run downstairs. Logan loves the attention he gets from Malachi & Olivia, and he is a BIG flirt, always smiling at anyone he gets to see. But this is no different from any other time - from day one he's always been a smiley, happy boy for which we are so thankful! It is so wonderful to see how far Logan has come and it fill us with great joy to see the wonderful works of the Lord in Logan's life.

 

Brad faxed all his updated info to the clinic at Mac and I left a message this morning there as well. Now we are just waiting for a call back to set up a date to remove the g-tube. As far as we know he will need to be put out again to take it out, but hopefully this will only require day surgery. We will keep you all posted as to when this will be and how things go.

 

Thank-you again for your continued love, care & support. The Lord has blessed us with amazing family, friends & a church family that have been so great to us through this. We feel beyond blessed!

 

Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you. - Psalm 9:10

 

 

I'll leave you with some pictures from the last month or so of life at the Linde's :)

 

 

 

Brothers that share a special bond ♥

 

 

Logan is starting to sit up on his own now.

 

 

Our little family on my 27th birthday. Blessed beyond measure.

 

 

Big brothers are the best eh Logan? The boys love bedtime stories together in M's bed.

 

 

Snuggles with dad one night when Logan had a fever.

 

 

 

Happy Mother's Day mom! I got to spend a lovely day with

these 3 monkey's and my hubby :)

 

Supporting McHappy Day....  proceeds go to Ronald McDonald houses

which is where we lived for almost 3 months while Logan was in Mac!

 

 

Hanging out under the shade of a tree on a hot day.

 

 

Can't believe we come this far...almost 9 months old!

 

 

One with mum.

 

 

A big boy now - pure contement being able to feed himself.

 

 

Play hard, Eat Hard, Sleep Hard.

 

 

 

We can't get enough of our sweet little man.

 

THANKFUL.

Logan was weighed this afternoon, and we have GREAT news! Logan has gained another whole pound since last week, putting him at 14lbs 6oz. YAY!! We are so very thankful for this great accomplishment. We also had a visit with the GI doctors at Mac and found out that Logan is now on the curve on the growth chart. He is doing exceedingly well and is on the right track to catching up in no time. We are also excited to share the news that we've decided to try the next 2 weeks without using the g-tube. Logan will only be bottle fed and eat solid foods and we'll see how is weight gain is after that. Please pray that Logan continues to climb the growth charts and grow strong & healthy.

 

Give thanks to the God of heaven. His love endures forever. - Psalm 136:26

 

 

~ Here are a few recent pictures of Logan at 7.5 months ~

 

Brother's bonding.

 

 

Hanging out on daddy's lap.

 

Starting to sit on his own for a little bit at a time.

 

 

Logan loves the exersaucer & jumper-roo.

 

 

Snuggles in his towel after bath-time.

 

 

Always happy.

 

Hanging out with mom at Mac, waiting for the doctors.

 

 

14lbs, 6oz - Wed, April 24, 2013.

No Big Changes

Another quick update on Logan. The dietitian came to weigh him on Friday and we did not see an excessive weight gain as he's had the last few times. He actually only gained 4 ounces in 2 weeks putting him up to 13lbs 7oz. Our dietitian Brad said that there is no need to panic - after all we can't expect him to gain huge amounts every time. Logan is growing at his own pace quite nicely and as long as he's not plateauing or losing then there is no need to worry. However we are not ready yet to go without the g-tube, Adam and I would like to see him reach a higher weight before playing around with it. We also believe that there are 2 things contributing to him not gaining as much these last 2 weeks...one being that we don't use the g-tube faithfully EVERY night. He can afford to go a night or 2 during the week without it. The other reason being that Logan is VERY active and always moving, he most likely has a high metabolism. Brad agreed to wait 2 more weeks, weigh him again and go from there. As nice as it would be to have the g-tube removed before summer, its not worth pushing Logan and slowing down the weight gain process. We've realized that he still manages to gain more when he continues to use it. We also go for another follow up visit at Mac this coming Thursday with the GI team, so we'll see what they have to see with how far Logan has come since last visit.

 

We continue to thank the Lord for Logans progress. Its hard to believe that just a few short months ago we weren't even sure he'd make it this far and now he's surprising us all the time with the new developments that he has week by week. What a loving & merciful God we serve that he watches over us and carries us close to His heart. The Lord's love for us never ceases to amaze!

 

"Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." - Lamentations 3:22-23

Slow & Steady

Well it seems even though I am only updating the blog every other week that I have positive, uplifting news to write each time! Things are looking up over here with Logan (yay!). He was weighed again on Thursday and he is now a whopping 13lbs 3.5oz. He did go down a little bit on his average of how much he is gaining per day but we aren't worried. This being because he had the flu, AGAIN, which he fought for a week and his little body continued to fight and he did gain some good weight gain. Our dietitian is very hopeful that Logan will continue to go up from here with no more set backs. It seems that between seeing the chiropractor, his little body maturing & the age that he is, he is starting to slowly outgrow the pyloric spasms. This was what we were hoping for so it looks like he's on the right track to getting over this sooner then later.

Brad would like to continue to use the g-tube for the next 2 weeks (until the next weigh in). After that we are going to try one week at a time of only bottle feeding Logan. He will still have the g-tube in but we won't use it and see if he still gains the same amount of weight using the bottle that he does using the g-tube. If that shows good results, we will continue this for the month of April & May. If everything continues to go well we are looking at possibly meeting with the doctors in June to talk about removing the g-tube! Now of coarse this is provided he continues to gain a good amount of weight each week, has no set backs and is stable. As great as it sounds I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high just yet. Unfortunately its becoming more of a pain that he has a g-tube because Logan is very active and no matter how good I pin it to his clothes he manages to play with it and yank on it when I'm not looking. Its only going to get harder to hide from him the older he gets. So the sooner its out the better I'll feel :)

That's all for now, I'll update you all again in 2 weeks time. Thank-you for the prayers & support that you continue to show to us.We feel so incredibly blessed to have so many of you walk this road with us and be a huge part of our lives. May you all have a Blessed Easter weekend with your families as we celebrate the death & resurrection of our faithful Saviour, Jesus Christ. Speaking of which, I thought I'd end this post with a video that a close friend of mine sent to me. "Please take a listen to this beautiful Easter song about the amazing gift God has given to us!"... its by one of my favorite's Keith & Kristyn Getty :)

Our Growing Little Boy

I am a couple of days late in writing so I suppose its about time I give you all the update on where Logan is at. On Thursday our dietitian came for the big weigh in and we were definitely not expecting anything extravagant because we find when you get your hopes up with Logan, you set yourself up for a letdown. Well, Logan surprised us all (as usual)...he gained a whole pound! No more little weigh ins of a few ounces but an entire POUND! Which brings him up to 12lbs 11oz as of Thursday. Such excitement for us to see him thriving and doing alot better. Logan has definitely grown taller and is starting to fill out a little more in his face, stomach & legs. He also is not as pale/grey looking as he always is, in the last 2 weeks or so he has started to get some great colour back to his skin. An average baby with Logan's condition should be gaining about 13 ounces per day and he is gaining 20+ ounces, which is almost doubling the expectations!

We decided to keep it at weighing him every other week and slowly work him up to every third week and then once a month. Even though things are starting to look better we hope that it continues in this way and that he doesn't have a relapse. We will still be keeping the g-tube in till he is at least 1, after that the doctors will re-evaluate where Logan is at and see if it is best to keep it for awhile yet or if Logan will be stable enough to take the gtube out. More exciting news is that Logan takes rice cereal twice a day (keeping it all in) and he also loves baby mums & applesauce! Now that he knows what its like to be hungry/full and what real food tastes like he just can't seem to get enough. :)

Praise to our Father in Heaven for his continued care for Logan and our family from day to day.

I will always thank the Lord; I will never stop praising him. I will praise him for what he has done; may all who are oppressed listen and be glad! Proclaim with me the Lord's greatness; let us praise his name together! ~ Psalm 34:1-3

 

With those eyelashes & that beautiful smile

he sure knows how to win over his mama's heart.

6 MONTHS

Six months ago the Lord blessed Adam & I with a third child, another son. Our biggest baby yet weighing 9lbs 6oz, full of chunkiness and having the most beautiful blue eyes you've ever seen. No one could have prepared us for the whirlwind of a ride that we've been on since that day. It's not always easy, and there were times of doubt, questions & frustrations...but the Lord was/is working in us, strengthening us and teaching us. Looking back Adam & I are thankful for this trial that God placed in our lives. We have a different perspective on things. We've become more thankful for the small things in life, we count our blessings & thank the Lord for each new day - for how easily it is taken for granted! The Lord has helped us in so many ways of blessings through this as well. I have a loving, strong husband who helped me to fight & carry on when I don't think I can, our children have been able to go with the flow and easily go to anyone's house when we are in need of someone to watch them during hospital stays & appointments, Logan has remained smiley and upbeat through everything & brings so much joy to anyone who is lucky enough to meet him, our church community, family & friends have showered us in love with so much, and we have grown closer in our faith & walk with our Heavenly Father. We are truly blessed. We would be different people if it hadn't been for this life changing experience the Lord has given us, and we are forever eternally grateful!

 

So thankful that the Lord has given us 6 months with our baby boy! These months flew by and sometimes I wish I could just hit pause and enjoy my baby a little bit longer. But they have to grow up, its inevitable, its part of life! This busy season in my life will only last a short while, and so far it has been an amazing journey to be the mom of Malachi, Olivia & Logan. My hands may be full, but so is my heart. It has been the most rewarding, incredible, special time in my whole life. I will cherish the experience of their lives as they grow up in a special way, and treasure it always in my heart.

 

HAPPY HALF BIRTHDAY LOGAN! We look forward to celebrating many more milestones in your life and watching you grow strong & healthy.

 

 

Olivia has the right idea putting the baby in the stroller :)

 



Love snuggling you & smothering you in kisses!

 



 

Morning happy baby!

 

 

Playing with dad after dinner...

Our 3 crazy blessings.

 



 

HAPPY 6 MONTHS LOGAN!

He likes to lay in just a diaper sometimes..don't worry we watch to make
sure the kids don't pull on his gtube. :)

 



 

He gets up on his hands & knees and rocks now :)

 

Love that little grin.

 

Big brother Malachi takes his job seriously, he loves Logan.

 

In the words of big sister Olivia, "Luv you brover"... ♥

 

.

Climbing the growth chart

Good news today, Logan has gained 6 ounces this past week! He is officially 11lbs 13oz! This is the improvement that we were hoping for and are thinking that the last couple weeks the weight loss was due to Logan being under the weather. The dietitian agreed to come back in two weeks to give us a week break and we will see how it is going from there. The doctors had been hoping for at least 17grams a day in gain but Logan has surprised us all with about 25grams a day this week!
 Thanking the Lord for His sustaining grace and constant care of our precious Logan.

(written by Aunt Kathleen, as Jenn and Adam's internet is still down!)

Up & Down

I know its been a couple of weeks since I last blogged. I probably should have blogged last week, however I was in a slump. I was really not in the mood to share the news that Logan happened to lose 5 ounces. I felt like this was becoming a routine of writing the same thing from week to week. We were shocked as that is a pretty big loss from what he was up the week before! He was weighed last Tuesday, February 13th and much to our dismay he had indeed lost putting him at 11pds 7ounces. I was a ball of mixed emotions. My dietitian reassured me that there was no need to panic, sometimes babies that have a hard time gaining weight will go one step forward, two steps back, until they can get to where they need to be. We had also increased his feeds quite a bit in hopes that he would gain, but this just made him vomit more which also contributed to the weight loss. Our dietitian Brad told us to drop him back down to 100ml per bottle and just bump up the night feeds on the g-tube (as he seems to keep that all down) and also to try to introduce rice cereal again. 

On Thursday, Feb 14th I took Logan back to Mac for our g-tube follow up appointment with Dr. Bailey. She was pleased with how everything looked, although there was no infection he did have a weird growth of skin growing around the gtube hole & it was slightly red so they cauterised it just to be safe. The nurse told me its ok if he screams it's normal that most kids will cry when they put silver nitrate on a wound. Logan just looked up and smiled at her the whole time...go figure. He must have one seriously high pain tolerance!

Over the family day weekend we spent alot of time out & about, so of coarse on Monday night our family started out with some sort of bug. Olivia has managed to avoid getting it, but the boys got a weird virus. Mostly just alot of diarhea & runny noses, but Logan was also vomiting excessively (alot more then normal). Logan definitely got hit the hardest, we could tell he was fighting something. Our chiropractor even mentioned that Logan must be fighting something because his spine was quite rigid & tense (this was before we even had a chance to tell him that Logan was fighting against something!). That night Logan screamed for a good 3 hours and NOTHING that we did for him made him happy.  On top of it Logan also had something this week called "Fifth disease, or erythema infectiosum...a mildly to moderately contagious viral infection. Fifth disease usually begins with the distinctive, sudden appearance of bright red cheeks that look as though the child has been slapped. He had this really bad on the right side of his face, I almost didn't dare take him out in public. It's been a long week, he finally started to become more like himself as of Friday. Here's to hoping that Adam & I don't catch anything now!

Logan was also weighed this week on Thursday (Feb 21st). We braced ourselves for another huge loss seeing as he has been sick all week. Well we were wrong, somehow, for some strange reason he actually managed to gain ONE OUNCE! Whaaaat??...its not much but I'll take it!! Logan never ceases to amaze us with his results from week to week. We think that he was on the right track of gaining and then lost weight with being sick, so maybe next week will be much better now that he's on the road to recovery! Our dietitian comes next Tuesday for another weigh in and I will do my best to update you all by Tuesday evening and not take so long this time. Praying for better results next week!

Another Week Gone By

Last week Thursday I met with Dr. Issenman in the GI clinic at Mac. We waited 2 hours to see him and got all of 30 seconds of his time. He barely looked at Logan, didn't take any time to answer my questions & to be quite frank, was very ignorant. I spent more time with the dietitian then I did with the doctor, which seems absurd seeing as everything she told me was identical to what our in home care dietitian had been saying too. In the end I asked that we not have to come back every other week for no reason seeing as it is a waste of my time & $15 in parking. Dr. Issenman agreed that we can wait a couple of months & do another follow-up in April. In the meantime we will be working on changing things with our dietitian and taking Logan to the chiropractor (which is the only thing that seems to be doing something positive for him!).

Today was supposed to be Logan's weigh in day, however due to the weather our dietitian couldn't make it. He comes from Waterford every week and I told him it just wasn't worth risking the drive just for 15 minutes at our place. We will have to wait until Tuesday next week to find out where Logan is at on the growth chart. I am ok with waiting a few more days, its almost a relief to not have to keep checking the scale every week!

We feel fairly confident that Logan must be gaining though in the past week. The main reason being that he has been vomiting alot less and he is starting to take more volumes at his feed. He's only started taking an extra 10-20ml per feed, but for Logan this is a great step in the right direction. Baby steps....this is what we do each week, but someday he will catch up just like Malachi did :) We definitely have our challenging days just like any normal family, but the Lord continues to grant us much strength each day to take up our tasks that He has set before us in this season of our lives.

Next week Thursday we go back to Mac to meet with Dr. Bailey, as a follow-up for the g-tube. She just wants to take a look at it to make sure there is no infection & see how things are going with it. We look forward to meeting with her again, the woman has a heart of gold & has a passion for what she does. I will update the blog next week once we know for sure what Logan's weight is up to.

Until then enjoy the breath-taking beauty of God's creation in this snowy weather that we've received and we hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

God's Mercies Are New Every Morning

{"from the fullness of HIS grace we have received one blessing after another..." John 1:16}

 

As many of you may have read from my facebook update today - we have received some great news! The Lord continues to hear our prayers & has been merciful. With GREAT JOY in our hearts we are thankful to say that Logan now weighs 11 lbs 12oz, just a few ounces short of 12 pounds!! This is great news seeing as he always seemed to hover over the 11 pound range and could not get above it. 

 

Brad, our dietitian came to weigh Logan & it turns out this is the biggest weight gain jump he's done in over 3 months. He gained as much weight in this past week as he has in a whole month's time. However this is partially due to Logan taking a big poop before having to weigh him. Yes, literally a minute before weighing him he decided to dispose of "extra weight". Brad laughed, as this is the 3rd or 4th time Logan has done this. It's like he waits for that perfect moment to screw everything up on weight check-up day :) Pre-dump he had gained 216 grams, post dump 116 grams. Yep that's right, the diaper weighed 100 grams! Unfortunately we can't add this on to his total weight, but considering he does this on a 1-2 day basis the dietitian is pretty confident that Logan is gaining quite nicely for his situation. He feels confident that he will be roughly 12 lbs by the weekend. Yay!! 

*do a little happy dance!*

 

Another great thing is that Logan seems to be getting a bit better with his vomiting. We noticed a pattern last week. He has adjustments with the chiropractor on Mon, Wed & Thurs. After these appointments he did exceptionally well, only spitting up a mouth full or 2 after feeds from the bottle. It wasn't until Sunday that he started getting a bit worse again (but he also had his longest stretch up till then of having no adjustments). This makes us hopefully that maybe the chiropractor adjustments are helping! We will monitor his pattern over the next couple of weeks and see what triggers him to vomit more or less throughout the week. He currently takes around 4 bottles orally through the day and everything else from the g-tube. We have also been increasing his gtube feeds by 2ml every night. He has now gone up from 30ml per hour to 40ml per hour. This probably doesn't sound like much, but for Logan this is really great! The dietitian is hopeful that between the chiropractor, using the g-tube & maturity over the next few months that Logan will be able to feed without the gtube & not vomit anymore (or very little). Time will tell. As always we leave this in God's hands knowing that HIS ways are good and he has a plan & purpose in all of this. We pray that over time if it is His will, that Logan will be able to get to a somewhat "normal" life.

 

Tomorrow we are off to Mac for our first follow-up visit in the GI clinic with Dr. Issenman. Hoping that all goes well and they too will be pleased with the direction Logan is heading in. I will blog tomorrow evening if anything changes, otherwise I will give the weekly update again next week.

 

Five,  Six things we are grateful for today:

 

1. God's abundant mercy that has been shown to us today & everyday

2.  Being with our family around the dinner table to talk about our day

3. a delicious meal made by a friend in our church

4. Prayers answered & God's provision through all of this

5. Snuggling our happy baby every chance that we can get

6. A warm rainy day, when we expect to have snow

 

What are 5 things that YOU are grateful for today??

 

 

 

“Praise ye the LORD. O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good: for his mercy endures for ever.” - Psalm 106:1

Pass The Coffee Please

We've been home for 3 days and things are busy! I am trying to work out schedules for Logan's appointment, line babysitters up and trying to get everyone dressed & fed before noon each day. Life is just going to be chaotic for awhile. Period. So I need to accept that and deal with it as best as we can. With joy! Due to all this business & little sleep, all I can say is... pass the coffee! :)

 

A little humour. Don't get me wrong, I love my Pinterest, but simply don't have much time for it anymore!

The dietitian came today to weigh Logan. He has gained about 100grams since last time he weighed him. This doesn't give us a great idea of accuracy though because Logan was weighed on this scale before we were admitted (so about 3 weeks ago). Brad (our dietitian) will come again next Wednesday and that will give us a better idea of Logan's weight. If he has indeed gained a bit, we can thank the gtube for that! We feel quite strongly that the botox injections didn't do a whole lot for Logan. He still vomits about 50% of each feed, which is no different from before. The only way we can keep food in him is if we run the gtube on continuous feeds. The most he'll do it a small mouthful of spit-up but other then that he keeps it all in. Because it runs at such a slow pace it allows time for the stomach to empty it as well. We are now very thankful that we made the choice to do the gtube at the same time as the botox surgery! We will have a follow-up visit in clinic with Dr. Issenman next week.

Logan has also been showing alot of interest in food when we eat dinner together. Tonight we tried baby food (pureed apples/strawberry) and he LOVED it. He took it no problem and we couldn't seem to keep up, he just kept wanting more. We decided to cut him off after taking just under half the jar. He did well for about 5 minutes and then, well it all came up. I called the dietitian and he said that this is really too bad that he can't keep rice cereal (remember him puking that up before too?) or the baby fruit down. Now we know that for now the only way to get Logan to gain is through the gtube. We do still give Logan the bottle orally 4 times a day and run him on the gtube for the remainder of the feeds. The reason for this is so that he doesn't loose his oral skills. This is definitely not something we want to happen. I am happy to have the gtube so that Logan has a way of keeping the food in. Just disappointed that the botox didn't work and he has to live a life with the gtube for awhile. He is NOT a happy camper. Our once happy go lucky child has become quite fussy. We're not sure if this is due to pain still from the healing hole in his stomach, from teething (which yes he IS doing - go figure!), or the fact that he is just used to being held that now that's all he wants. Or maybe its a combo of all 3? No matter what way you look at it, he is not the same child and its frustrating.

 

Finally we met up with our chiropractor on Monday night and agreed to go through with the 6 month plan for Logan. He will be seeing the chiropractor 3-4 times a week for the next 8 weeks, then 2 times a week for another 8 weeks and finally 1 time a week for 10 weeks. If the adjustments take well Logan could be corrected before 6 months, but this is the long term plan for now. We strongly believe that this may help Logan, and seeing as nothing else has helped, we're willing to try it! This will require alot of dedication & time especially on top of all his other appointments & weird feeding schedules, so the plan is to take it one day at a time and pray for perseverance & patience. Also not to be afraid to ask for help when we feel we need it. Thanks in advance to so many of you who have offered to help us out - it is greatly appreciated!

 

We have 3 chiropractor visits, a visit with the dietitian & one with the clinic at Mac next week. Once I have all the info on how things are looking for Logan I will update the blog once again! Thanks for following along & for continuing to keep us in your prayers! We still have a long road ahead of us, but we also know that the Lord will never give us more then we can handle. We need to stop & breathe, and just take each day one at a time, not worrying about tomorrow. This is easier said then done, I know. But we trust that the Lord knows our hearts, he knows our needs and he will give us all that we need both spiritually & physically. He already has for this long & we know He will not fail us now, or ever. We are abundantly blessed.

 

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or stow away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? ... Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own..."

Matthew 6:25-27, 34

Going Home!! {again}

I know I didn't post much the last couple of days, but there wasn't really anything new & exciting to post. Today however we have some exciting news...We are going HOME!! {AGAIN!}. Do I dare say that we may actually get to stay home this time?? The doctors are quite pleased with how things went with Logan & the surgery. We have a follow up visit in 1 month, but for now we can go home. Usually we never make it to the follow up visit because we end up getting admitted before then, praying that this time might be different! Hopefully we won't have to be admitted again and we can just come back for Logan's regular appointments :)

 

Logan has been bottling orally for 2 days now. He still does spit-up but he is definitely not vomiting like before. If we see some weight gain over the next week & he is indeed vomiting less, then we'll have a fairly good answer that the botox injections did take affect & worked. Now to see how long they will last for! When he starts vomiting like before, that probably means he needs to come in for another round of botox (this usually happens 2-6 months after the first injection, so we have a bit of time!). The gtube was also a success, although I've learned that its a good thing I did not become a nurse! Just looking at it gives me the heeby-jibes (sp?), I can't look at a wound that is starting to heal like that - thankful my hubby has no problem turning the tube twice a day & cleaning up the site. It is a bit red, tender & in my opinion GROSS, but apparently that won't last forever. It will heal more & more each day and start to dry up. Logan's will probably take a bit longer to heal then most babies because no matter how good we pin it up he still manages to sneak it out & pull on it, playing with it. It will be good to be home & put him in sleepers so he can't even see it, the gowns he wears here don't help!

 

The GI fellow was in this morning to say that Logan looks healthy & is doing well, they are happy to send him home. Discharge papers are being written up & we've been given all we need for him to take home until we can get to the drugstore & pick up all our supplies. We are just waiting for Dr. Bailey from general surgery to come by after lunch to take one last peak at the gtube and then we're out of here! For now we will be starting Logan on oral feeds through the bottle at 9am every morning. Every 3 hours I give him 90ml of formula & because of the reflux we do still have to spend alot of time holding him upright - lucky Logan will never have lack of snuggles - thankful for my baby carrier!! We will continue his oral feeds until 6pm and then give him his 3 hour break and hook the gtube up for night feeds at 9pm. So from 9pm-6am he had the gtube running continuous at 30ml per hour at a slow drip rate. Logan will get to sleep through the night, keep his food in and hopefully GROW! I however will still have to get up every 3-4 hours to put more food in the bag and flush the line, but I don't even care at this point. Anything is better then waking up every 2 hours to feed him!! We will also still be giving his meds every 6 hours in a 24hr period every day.

 

So that's it for now! We hope to be home late this afternoon and pick up Malachi & Olivia tonight. It will good to be together as a family again & we pray that this is the end for Logan and us as far as long term hospital stays goes. We will have follow up visits with GI & appointments with Dr. Bailey from general surgery, dietitian home visits, seeing the pediatricians and continuing with chiropractor for Logan. We will have at least 1-2 appointments a week so don't be surprised if I call you up to have some fun with my older 2 while I bring Logan to all these appointments! Thanks for all of you who have already so graciously offered to help me out with babysitting!

 

I will continue to keep the blog updated. It won't be everyday as that would just get boring for you & I wouldn't have anytime to keep up once we're home! I plan to try and update the blog at least once a week or if anything changes along the way. So if you haven't seen a post for a few days take that as good news that nothing has gone wrong! :) Also, I know that many people want to come visit us at home. While I appreciate this immensely, please understand that I do need to try to get our lives back to somewhat normal & its important right now for my children to get into somewhat of a routine again. A short visit would be lovely, but maybe just give us a week or so to get a bit settled again at home. I usually start my day to the sound of a toddler belting out “Mommy! Mommy!” while impatiently rattling the bars of her crib. Before I can clear my sleep-bleary eyes, I’m tripping over toys, changing diapers, prepping food, laundering clothes, wiping chins and stacking dirty dishes. I’m lucky if I get a shower before 10 a.m., much less spend a quiet, meaningful time in prayer & devotions. This is an indication of how my days sort of go with 3 under 3. But I'm sure many of you moms can relate to this, so please don't take it personally if it takes me a bit to get back to your emails & phone calls. :)

 

Time to pack up our things. Hope everyone has a blessed Sunday & may the Name of the Lord be praised!!

 

{You are my God, and I will praise you; you are my God, and I will exalt you. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever. - Psalm 118-28-29}

 
 

Little Trooper

Logan has done great for the last couple of days. After having to go 17 hours yesterday without food and then another 24 hrs after surgery, he had enough and was not too impressed. I can't say I blame him. Logan spent ALOT of time with snuggles and doped up on morphine & tylenol, as that's the only way we could get him to sleep when he was hungry or in pain. Just ask one of my aunts about this - within a minute or 2 of having morphine Logan became dead weight and was lost in a dream. I was so lucky enough to have 3 of my dad's sisters come to visit today & help keep Logan happy. Thanks aunt Mary, aunt Jess & aunt Amanda (as well as my cousins Shalyn & Cameron!) for keeping me company today! We are so proud of how well Logan did, despite how crappy he probably felt he still managed to smile that beautiful smile. Finally at 5pm today he was able to start feeding through the gtube, yay! So far so good, but he is on a continuous feed which has never made him vomit any other time. We'll keep him this way for tonight so he can adjust and tomorrow will be the true test when we start him feeding on bolus feeds (bigger volumes, every 3 hours). Fingers crossed he keeps it all in!!

 

Here's some photo's of the last 2 days...

 

Munching on his fingers as usual, wiating for surgery.

 He was pretty hungry by this point...

 

Daddy whispering his good-bye's to Logan before his surgery.

 

 

Mom's turn to shed some tears & enjoy the last few snuggles of my sweet

sleeping boy before heading down to the O.R.

 

Hey, who stopped the ride??

 

Day 1 post surgery - drugged up on meds & just started feeding again.

Still Smiling!! LIFE.IS.GOOD.