My Father Always Told Me That Patience Is A Virtue.

Today was a good day, considering it was Monday and it is always hard to get back into the swing of things after the weekend. We had some lovely visits & Logan was spoiled with snuggles for most of the day by me or visitors, you can tell because as I try to settle him tonight he keeps fussing, looking at me all disappointed that he has to lay there on his own. His dad's a sucker for Logan's smiles though, because not long after I tried to settle Logan, Adam scooped him up again! :)

We were told this morning that Logan no longer needs to meet with an anaesthesiologist since he already went through this last week with the scope. Yay, we get to skip a step!! They then scheduled his MRI for Wednesday morning at 9am. Tomorrow night the nurse will put an iv in Logan and run it at 3milagrams to keep the line open. At this time they will also take the blood work for those tests on his glands. At 2am they will stop running his feeds as he has to be NPO (nothing passes orally) for a few hours before the MRI. After the MRI is complete the radiologist will have to look at it, write a report, send it up to our doctors and then at some point they will explain how it went. We might as well not count on hearing the results until Thursday. IF they find something extremely abnormal/urgent/of great concern, they will let us know that day yet. If we don't hear from anyone by Wednesday evening, I guess we'll go with the saying, "No news is good news!"

We are still in the process of changing up his feeds and adding more calories, we will hopefully get a better jump on this in the morning. We know that he is getting all the nutrients & calories through the ng tube, he just doesn't seem to absorb it. On a good note Logan has FINALLY gone up a little bit in weight. He has gone from his steady weight for the last two weeks of 4.75grams to 4.80 grams tonight when we weighed him, not alot really but it sure made this mama happy!! This is great news as he's never gotten higher then 4.75 grams yet. We would be thrilled if he starts to go up a little bit each day from here on out. The nurse said there is no guarantee's that this will happen, but this is a start. Yay, good job Logan!! This could take awhile as we will be monitoring his feeds for the next week or 2. For once, I'm ok with that. I just want to see my baby start to thrive, and I'm willing to be patient & wait for this to happen. My father always said, "Patience is a virtue!", something that I'm sure is familiar to all of you as well. So here's to praying for patience, LOTS of patience! Our night nurse came in and asked us why we are still here. She says he is bright, reaching milestones, and waaaay too cute to have anything seriously wrong with him... she then asked if he is just on a feeding tube, why are you not doing this at home? We explained to her that we are trying to get Logan off the continuous feeds and back to every 3 hours (bolus feeds) so that he can have a g-tube put in. This all made sense to her, but she told us that after being with him for a few weeks she just feels in her heart that he might be one of those babies that just needs time to start gaining properly and may not actually have something wrong with him other then his reflux. Not gonna lie, I had to agree with her. Something I think if we haven't found anything after testing him for over a month now, and he seems healthy, reaching milestones it just makes me wonder how he could have anything seriously wrong with him. I guess we'll know more after this MRI. It just seems really odd to Adam & I that he could have nothing wrong and all of a sudden out of the blue just starts to gain weight. Not that I am complaining, I would love to be assured that my child is not actually sick from anything serious, it just seems exhausting to think we spent the last 8 weeks (4 of which were spent in the hospital) running tests just to find out that he has nothing wrong with him. We feel that if the MRI doesn't show anything wrong then we've pretty much lost hope in finding anything at this point & just pray Logan will start to gain weight on his own with upping his calorie intake. It would be nice to know the reason for failure to gain weight though.

Although I guess none of this really matters in the end. Sometimes we do not need to know the answers. Sometimes just knowing that God is in control and that He doesn't need answers from the doctors to heal our little man is a comfort. We know that He is the Great Physician & Logan will begin to thrive again in His time, if it is His will. No matter the answers in the end, we truly feel in our hearts that God is using us through this trial in many ways. Through this we are drawn closer to Him, it has strengthened our marriage & changed our perspective on what's really important in life, God's Name has been praised and we have been able to be used in His service to witness to those around us here in the hospital. Just knowing where we stand in Christ give us the strength to overcome every situation in our daily lives. I've come to realize that we who are in Christ, are to put our complete hope and confidence in God rather then in ourselves or the doctors, because then we are in position to receive miraculous answers for our prayers.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or stow away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? ... Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own"  - Matthew 6:25-27, 34